Best Friend #1

As I have 2 bestest best friends in the world, I'm going to be doing 2 letters for the first topic on the list...

Dear Best Friend,

As I was laying in bed last night, trying to relax and go to sleep, so many things began to run through my mind. The letter to you I composed in my head was full of profound phrases and sweet memories...but wouldn't you know, this morning, I couldn't remember a word of it! So, since the emotions behind the forgotten words are the same, I'm hoping that this letter will at least touch and warm your heart.

From the first moment we met, I knew that we were (as Anne-with-an-e Shirley would say) "kindred spirits." I honestly, really and truly, believe that God coordinated our meeting and that we were destined to be best friends for all of our lives. Maybe it's because the other 2 people in our grade were already best friends, or maybe it's because I had only just started that year at that school as a new student myself, but from the instant we first introduced ourselves, I knew two things: 1) I was comfortable with you and could always be myself around you, and 2) we were more than "fair-weather friends." It was a friendship that would stand the test of time, again and again. Even still, we can go months and months without contact, but the moment we see each other again, it's as if no time has passed (except for the amount of talking we have to catch up on!), and we immediately fall right back into that safe haven, that comfort zone. I thank God often for the day he brought you into my life.

I do have to confess, though, that while I tended to be the louder one of our pair, and the one that loved to claim the spotlight, I was always in awe of you. In my mind, there was nobody as amazing as my best friend. (And looking back at how I used to be as a child, I still often feel that way, realizing how much you had to put up with from me! LOL) You talked to adults like equals (though still always with respect), and you used "big words" like "basically." To me, that was huge. It didn't matter that I was 5 whole months older than you, you were the one I looked up to and wanted to be more like. You have always had a grace and poise that I wish I could achieve but have always been too brash, loud and headstrong to accomplish. And your joy is pure. I know you love to dance, but do you want to know something? I love to watch you dance. You are so sincere and full of happiness and peace that you just radiate it onto everyone else around you that's paying enough attention to notice. I felt beyond honored when you let me go with you to a dance class once. I still remember how to do "the grapevine" step.

And I want to apologize. When your dad passed away, I know I wasn't there like I should have been. I wanted to be, and I tried to be, but I didn't know how. I had never before known anyone who's parent had died. You say that knowing that I was there was enough, but I still wish I could have done more. I wish I could have said the right things, what you needed and wanted to hear. To have given you a hug at just the right time. It was an awkward subject for me, but I can't even imagine how hard it was for you. I'm not sure how many 9-year-old's would have known how to act, but I have mentally kicked myself for years over handling it all as poorly as I did.

From writing notes on "cow-tongue paper" to swinging on the swings together at recess. From overnight stays at your place where we had to talk super quietly or we'd be heard through the thin walls (and I'm sure your mom realized we were talking, even at our quietest, because, let's face it...my quiet is not that quiet and your mom is one smart lady!) to dancing with sleeping bags at 3 a.m. From baking food-colored chocolate chip cookies to playing a silly game with a carrot taped to a baseball cap. From belting it out as loudly as we could in choir class to participating in a community musical (to which I still remember some of the lyrics!). From melodramatics to growing into adulthood and realizing that what seemed earth-shattering as a child was really only overreacting. From glasses to braces. From dressing up in prom dresses and going out with the group to swing dancing. From giggling about cute boys to first kisses. And from first kisses to me getting married and having my own kids. You've been there through all of that. I've never really understood what it was that you got out of our friendship, and looking back, I see myself taking so much but not giving nearly as much back into you. But whatever the reason you hung around, I'm grateful for it. I know that, as cliche as it sounds, I would not be the person I am today if not for having you in my life. I've learned so much from you and your example. I may not have been right in placing you on the pedestal that I did when we were younger, mistakenly thinking that you had it all together, that your world was perfect, and that you were what I should aspire to be, but I am eternally grateful that you stuck around me as long as you have. I love you and I am blessed to call you my best friend.

~ Your "Little Donnetta"

30 Days of Letters Challenge

So yesterday, when I was on Facebook (as I so often am! LOL), a friend of mine shared this note:

 

 

I was inspired by another (great) blogging friend to do this challenge after I saw hers. I googled it & found the list online.. I may not get the letters done in exactly 30 days (but who knows, I love to write.) But I can't pass up a good challenge, I love to write... especially when it comes to matters of the heart. So here is the list below of the topics. I haven't decided if I'll name names (because I"m going to be posting these online.) I may or may not send them to the person I'm writing to... because I think, that some of these topics, aren't meant for those people... but for some healing in my own soul. I'm excited to do this...

The list of letters to be written:

My best friend

My crush

My parents

My sibling

My dreams

A stranger

My ex

My favorite internet friend

Someone I wish I could meet

Someone I don't talk to as much as I'd like

A deceased person I wish I could talk to

The person I hate most or who caused me a lot of pain

A person I wish could forgive me

Someone I've drifted away from

The person I miss the most

Someone who's not in my state/country

Someone from my childhood

The person I wish I could be

Someone who pesters my mind

The one who broke my heart the hardest

Someone I judged on a first impression

Someone I want to give a second chance to

The last person I kissed

The person who gave me my favorite memory

The person I know is going through the worst of times

The last person I made a pinky promise to

The friendliest person I knew for only a day

Someone that changed my life

The person I want to tell everything to, but am afraid to

My reflection in the mirror

I think it's a really great idea! The thing is, though, I'm not a "halfway person." When I open up, I'm all out there. With me, it's left or right, black or white, one extreme of the pendulum swing or the other. I have always had a hard time toeing the line of anything.  I really want to do this (though I'm sure it would not be completed in 30 days, with housework and mommyhood and such), but I'm not so sure that I want to do all of them. I'm also not good at making myself vulnerable...especially to the public at large. So in the near future, you'll be likely to see at least some of these seemingly random letters to people (I'll probably still write the other ones as well...just in a journal or something)...well, this would be why. LOL Do you want to join in on the challenge? I'd be glad to have some company!