Timing

Timing is an interesting thing.

For instance: tonight, I had Superman and Batman change their bedding (it didn't happen over the weekend due to my being sick with one ferocious cold!). They were determined to impress me with their bed-making skills, and when they were done, Batman asked me if his was the best made bed ever, in the whole wide world. Not to be outdone, Superman asked if his was the best in all the planets of all the galaxies in all the universe. (No lie! His exact words!) Part of me beamed with pride and wondered if maybe I could introduce him to Doctor Who. The other part of me, the part that cringed at the competitiveness that was sure to get a rise out of his brother, knows that he is not quite ready for the good Doctor, as I'm fairly certain it would give him nightmares of Daleks, Cybermen and Weeping Angels. But I'm almost certain that in a few years, he will be my fellow Whovian, watching the new episodes with bated breath.

I'm not known for being a patient person. (Mostly because I'm not. LOL) My whole life, timing has been a thorn in my side (not to mention the cause for tantrums thrown that would put toddlers to shame) more times than I care to admit. I want things to be done when I want them done. I don't want to wait. This tends to make me a difficult person to work with. (Obviously.) However, I think marrying into the military (which I was dead-set against for as long as I can remember...mostly because I didn't want someone else dictating my life and being in control of...you guessed it...timing) was about one of the best things that has happened to me in my life. Not only because I would have passed by a man that is an amazing father and wonderful husband, but because it has taught me a few things.

Let me tell you, me learning from life lessons takes nothing short of a brick wall to stop my forward progress and change my course. I honestly don't think that I would have learned these things without my husband's career being military. I know there's no arguing with the rules. For as bull-headed as I am, I do generally have respect for authority. And rules. So learning to be flexible and plan for things without set dates, and moving internationally, and dealing with Superman's challenges...even though I'm an independent spirit, it was NOT the right time for me to be working outside the home. And I wanted to be home with my boys. I am so very grateful that I was able to stay home and be a mom and homemaker full time. And I think I needed the time the boys were in school to just be with myself. Last year, when Batman started Kindergarten, I wanted to throw a party. I may not have made the emotional progress I wanted to in the course of that year (my goals also tend to be quite lofty...they probably weren't realistic...), it was enough. And now, with having made the diet changes over the summer that I did in addition to joining a workout challenge with Elphie, I am feeling more like my old self than I have in a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

I started to see signs of my restlessness of being at home all the time pretty soon after the boys started school. The first week, I relaxed, knit, and caught up on some household duties that I slacked on during the Ravellenic Games (my butt was planted in front of my computer, knitting and watching the Olympics!). Then I started to get active with working out, and it all went from there. I signed up to volunteer at the school to escort kids around for health screenings and special "briefings" (bus safety, the gifted ed program, library, etc.) while the teachers do evaluations on the students in a one-on-one setting. I volunteered for all three weeks. Last week was 3rd & 4th graders. This week (starting tomorrow!) is 2nd graders. Next week is 1st grade. So when I had the car last week, I made good use of my time. I didn't stay cooped up in the house. I went to the craft store on base and got set up to be the new knitting instructor (for the last year or so we're here). I went to a "career fair" at the lame BX we currently have to see about getting hired at the new BX that is nearly finished being built. And as of today, the contract has gone through for the knitting classes (so tomorrow I will go finalize all that paperwork), the background check to move forward with being officially hired with AAFES has been started (I should be able to get into the "new employee" class the first Tuesday of October!), and I'm finally over this nasty head cold and was able to get back to working out.

I'm not sure what it was that clicked into place, but I am feeling better about myself than I have in quite a while, I have more energy (I know that's a combination of dietary and exercise changes), and I am super excited to start making my own small paycheck to cover my yarn addiction (which I will have significantly less time for, lol) and gift shopping for The Instigator! :D I think I'm finally learning to sit back let things work out to God's timing instead of pushing my own agenda. It really takes so much less fighting that way. LOL

Happy Monday!

Going Gluten Free

So Elphie has made the decision to go Gluten (and dye) free with her boys and eat healthier and more natural all around. Since I signed Batman up for swim lessons down at the base Elphie is at, we stayed with her for the better part of two weeks, and were eating cleaner by proxy. She has seen immediate and amazing results in her kids from changing their diet, and with Superman's issues (Emotional Developmental Delay, fine motor skill challenges and developmental delays in social areas) I figured that this may be a way to help him deal with things better; having a healthier and cleaner system. I haven't seen drastic results due to the diet changes (though the one-on-one time I got with him last week while Batman stayed with Elphie and I had Superman at home for a few days really seemed to help him), but I'm definitely not writing it off.

I do, however, think I may have a wheat allergy or sensitivity. Going from Gluten free to eating like "normal" at home, back and forth, has really been taking a significant (and painful!) toll on my digestive system. It wouldn't really be surprising, as I do have plenty of other seasonal allergies and reactions to various plant life and their pollens. In researching Gluten free cooking & eating, I've come to find that those with these kinds of allergies are most commonly those with hay-fever and reacting to pollens of plants. So I am now trying to go Gluten free in our home as well. It's not exactly easy. Especially when I have two little boys that don't like change and love their bread and pasta!

I have, however, found a great site for Gluten free recipes! When Elphaba was first going Gluten free, she mentioned that the Gluten free bread from the store was gross and that her kids wouldn't eat it unless it was toasted. I put my Internet searching skills to work and found this great blog. We used her sandwich bread recipe, and it was amazing! It was the first time I ever baked with yeast (which I was greatly intimidated by, because I had heard over and over that baking bread with yeast is less like baking and more like cooking...which I kind of fail at...), so I was quite proud of how well it came out. :) And has continued to do so!

A loaf of the Gluten free sandwich bread, halfway done baking

Other than that, we've been staying very busy! Batman has passed his first level of swim lessons with flying colors, and we signed him up today for the next level, which starts next week. Superman did not get swim lessons at the same time because there was a clause in the consent form about assuring the child would not be a hindrance to any of the other kids at any time. With his developmental delays, that's not an area I can promise will go according to the will of the adults involved. However, there is the possibility I may be able to get him into a swim class with kids his age with the teacher that the other boys had this past time, and she was fantastic with whenever there were any problems with wandering attention or tempers flaring. After this set of lessons, though, we'll be done with them for the summer. We'll have just a few weeks to get the boys' school supplies together, plan and have Batman's birthday party, fit in a Barefoot Path adventure, aiming for a picnic lunch at a castle, and hitting up another Medieval Festival at another castle...all before the end of next month! I am grateful that we've been able to keep the boys busy. I can't believe that they've only been out for less than a month, and am even in more disbelief that they'll be starting 1st & 2nd grade in about 6 weeks!

Summer time!

Wow! I have been incredibly busy! Ever since the field trip I chaperoned for Batman's class to the Butterfly Gardens in Luxembourg, I have been hopping!

On Memorial Day, we had the Songes up and had a cookout and I got to spend time with Kristin, hanging out in my craft room and dyeing yarn, along with just playing with yarn in general. :)

The following Monday, I got to join a bunch of the other Kindergarten parents and help with cutting out cardboard wings for the "Fly Away" ceremony we had for Batman's Kindergarten class. (The school doesn't do an actual Kindergarten graduation.) It was nice to chat with them and talk about travel and my love of Paris with them. :)

That Wednesday I went in and helped out Batman's teacher with the kids decorating their wings for said ceremony. They were so creative and fun!
That Friday was Field Day for the boys. Batman had a blast and participated in all the events with extra enthusiasm. Superman, however, was a different story. He was in a rotten mood and only would play in about half the events.

Superman bouncing on a ball

Batman under the parachute!

The Monday after that, I was supposed to be chaperoning Superman's class's nature walk, but due to rain, it was postponed a day.

He did well overall...especially considering how long the walk was! (He should not have worn a long-sleeved shirt! LOL) That afternoon, I took cupcakes in to Batman's class, since he has a summer birthday. That Wednesday was Batman's "Fly Away" from Kindergarten, and it was awesome to get to see all the kids and their parents getting together to celebrate all the kids had accomplished. I also had Batman give his teacher and teacher's aide their gifts, which I handmade for them.

The next day was the boys' last day of school. Between Wednesday and Thursday, Superman was able to give the gifts I hand knit for his teacher, in class aide, the counselor that has been working with him, and the Occupational Therapist he was seeing on a weekly basis.

That Saturday, Elphie came up with her boys and they stayed overnight. The following Tuesday, the boys and I came down to her house so that we could sign Batman and her two sons up for swim lessons! The boys and I ended up staying through Sunday and I had a few girls nights with Elphie and Kristin. :)

We went home for a couple days, but then came back down on Tuesday, as that was when the swim lessons began. And that brings us to today! Swim lessons got cancelled tonight due to lightening, but it should be back to swimming as normal tomorrow. :)

Butterfly Gardens

I know it has been quite a while since I last posted. Things have been quite busy around here as of late (which is for another blog post)!

Yesterday, I had the privilege of being a chaperone for C's class on the field trip 3 of the Kindergarten classes took together to the Butterfly Garden. It was so much fun!!! We piled the kids onto 2 buses and drove over to Luxembourg! They had been studying butterflies and insects in school, and this was a great way for them to finish that section.

A kernel representing a butterfly egg

A piece of uncooked spiral pasta representing the caterpillar

A piece of uncooked shell pasta representing the cocoon/chrysalis

A piece of uncooked bowtie pasta representing the butterfly

It was about a 45-60 minute drive, and we were asked often "Are we still in Germany?!" (I guess that's marginally better than "Are we there yet?" LOL) I got to be in charge of the orange group (which included C) and was shown by these really cool foam butterfly name tags that his teacher made.

When we got there, we got the speech about not touching the butterflies' wings (which anyone that has studied butterflies in school knows about the oils on our hands damaging the wings and causing them to break and render the insect unable to fly, thereby killing it). There was also a lot of moisture on the ground that they were trying to drink, so we had to be extra careful to watch where we were stepping so as not to crush any underfoot. (And when you're talking about a large group of 5-6 year olds, that's no easy feat!) But C's class, at least, did very well in following both instructions. (There were kids from one of the other classes that I repeatedly was reprimanding for trying to touch the butterflies. I don't know WHERE the adult was...)

C & his classmates huddled around a butterfly on the ground

The butterfly on the ground

The room was pretty warm and (to me) extremely humid (70%, I think it was?), but it was a lot of fun to be in there (in spite of feeling like I was slowly melting!). The butterflies fly free in the building, and they landed on quite a few people. C's teacher had at least 4 different ones land on her, and one even tried to get nectar out of her leg! LOL

1 of the 4 butterflies to land on C's teacher

A butterfly that landed on a classmate's head

A butterfly that landed on a classmate's arm

C's teacher pointing out a bird to C & his classmates

Case of chrysalises & newly hatched butterflies

Fish pond!

Turtles in the pond

A chameleon in a tank

After the kids were done looking at the butterflies, the case of chrysalises, the occasional display of other varying insects and chameleons, and the fish and turtles in the pond, we walked down along the Mosel river to get to a nearby park for the kids to play and have a picnic lunch.

C playing at the park

 

C keeping busy (& staying awake) by playing a game on my phone on the bus

By the time the trip was over and we were loaded back onto the buses and headed back to the school, the kids were soooo wiped out! At least half of the class fell asleep on the bus ride. As for me, I managed to stay awake (and knit) the ride back, but after I got home and had dinner, I laid down to take a little cat nap...and ended up sleeping through the whole night! LOL

I definitely want to go back and take the boys to the Butterfly Garden (and get to peruse the gift shop this time around!)...

Blogging Lull

I'm not sure why, but it hasn't really seemed like I have much to blog about lately...or rather, nothing more than a couple lines and a photo...so I've skipped over blogging it altogether! Maybe if I start blogging about something, the rest will fall into place...

I still haven't finished blogging about Paris, and haven't posted a single thing about Torie's wedding in September (maybe I can get to it this next week?), but I think I kept up pretty well with blogging over the holidays and the trips we took while my mom was here. (Speaking of, here is a photo of the thimbles I got while doing said traveling; there's one from Trier and one from Frankfurt.)

Oh! And I also haven't yet shared the newest addition to our household! No, it's not a baby (though a close friend of mine just had one on Tuesday!), and no, it's not an animal (in the same house as my boys?! HA!). It's a "roommate" of my craft room! (No spiders this time, I promise!) Her name is Charlotte!

Charlotte wearing my hat from Paris, Ravenclaw earrings (made by me), and the purple Luna scarf (made by me)

I bought her to model the neck wear, head wear, and earrings I make. Sadly, though, there are a few things I made recently I could have used her to model, but forgot about using her until I'd already given them away! LOL

And in that vein, here are some of the things I've recently finished, project-wise!

Triangular Scarflette I made as a last-minute decision for a friend's birthday

*PHOTOS TAKEN BY MISHA* A Hat for Emily for Elphie's husband; I made adjustments to accommodate a size larger than youth, and also made it reversible by picking up the stitches along the edge of the hat and knitting the lining

The fingerless mitts I made for The Instigator as a gift for our anniversary, complete with the logo from Zelda

And for those that pay attention to my Ravelry projects in the sidebar of my blog...you wouldn't have even known what I was knitting for these entries! These were super secret projects that I made as gifts for Kristin and Elphaba for Christmas! :D

The capelet I made for Kristin

*PHOTO TAKEN BY MISHA* The sleeved mantelet I made for Elphie

And I love my gifts from them (which I will post photos of next time)! :D :D :D They were very fitting!

In other non-knitting, non-holiday related news, Superman (who is showing signs of being Bizarro today!) lost his two front teeth almost 2 weeks ago!

And now I cannot really think of anything else to say...it seems as though my blogging steam didn't pick up today after all. (Of course, that's likely due to the fact that I'm being distracted by the boys being home from school today, doing laundry, and watching Big Bang Theory...) So I think I'll leave it here for now. :)

The Explosive Child

I cannot express how glad I am that I found the book The Explosive Child (by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.) and that I bought it. I finally started to read it today (I've had it for a few months), and I'm only through the first three chapters, but I already have a good feeling about this book being extremely helpful.

A has been having issues since he started school (and actually even before that, had I known what I should have been looking for) with social skills and emotional developmental delay. It has been a long, taxing process to even get him to the place that he is, and believe me when I say it's a major improvement. There have been "brain trust" meetings at the school with the teachers, counselors, principal, therapists...there have been medical appointments and both medical and psychological evaluations....and paperwork. Lots and lots (and true to military form...LOTS) of paperwork. On top of all that has been my own frustration. I've been frustrated with not being able to seem to make any progress with my son. I've been frustrated with the guilt that comes with feeling like a lousy parent because of how my child behaves. I've been frustrated that it affects our entire family when A has problems. I've been frustrated with C mimicking A's actions when he has no cause to. And I've mostly been frustrated that for all the evaluations and meetings and paperwork, it appears (to me, anyway) that he's made little to no progress. We haven't yet targeted what the problem is, which makes it difficult to try to help A and prepare him to move on in school.

My best friend, Misha, has blogged before about her experience and continued journey of having a special needs child with speech and developmental delays. While A does not necessarily have the same challenges as Luc, I can relate to some of what she's feeling, though likely on a smaller scale.

As I've been reading the first few chapters of this book today, so much of what I read applied 100% to what I'm dealing with when it comes to A. And there are even parts of the book where I see myself from my childhood. While that's not exactly surprising, as A and I are very alike in personality, it's also a bit....eerie, yet somehow comforting, to see something like that, explaining why I was the way I was, and am the way I am about so many things, in print. Eerie, because it's like they're inside my head. Comforting, because it means I'm not alone, and there is a way to work through those challenges. Granted, as I'm now an adult, I've worked through most of it on my own, but it took me the better part of 20+ years to get there.

And just the thought that A can have the help he needs now and not have to struggle through 20 years on his own before he works it out....it brings me to tears. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. I will see progress. He will overcome these challenges. And my never-ending frustration will disappear.....

My Prince A when he was 14 months old!

Bus Stop Nuisance

If you follow me on Twitter or are my friend on Facebook, chances are that you're aware of the kid at the bus stop (we'll call him "E") that pesters A. Especially after yesterday when he pushed A's buttons to the point of my older son having a mini-meltdown on the bus.

E that eggs A on every morning. Yesterday, after much verbal poking and prodding, E deliberately took the seat that he knew A wanted on the bus and refused to compromise at all, and had a smug look on his face that I could see from standing at the door of the bus while doing it. It escalated to the point of A having a mini-meltdown on the bus. Unfortunately (in this situation, anyhow) for security measures, adults aside from the bus driver and bus monitor are not allowed to board the bus. As I was by the door, all I could see was E being a jerk and the bus monitor getting up and talking to A. She said nothing  to E. Just A. I have no idea what she said, as A took the furthest seat from E that he was allowed, and the windows were fogged up pretty badly (a bus full of warm bodies on a cold morning and all...). Seriously, if E's dad were to get orders to leave this base yesterday, it couldn't be soon enough. (I was actually hoping after last school year that they would be leaving last summer...obviously, no such luck.)

So today, we got to the bus stop before E and his little sister ("Am"). Used to be that the boys and I were first every morning (we, as well as our neighbors across the street, have the furthest to walk to get to the bus stop, so I leave a good amount of time to get there, leaving time for the possibility of ice on the hill), but E and Am started to leave earlier and if they ever see us coming, they run to beat A and C to the bus stop. (Another sore point for my boys because they like to be first all the time, and I don't let them run. It's too dark, they don't watch where they're going, there's only a sidewalk for about half of our walk down there, and the cars go flying by at ridiculous speeds with most not even noticing pedestrians until they've nearly hit us.) So today, when E and Am got there, the firs thing A says to seeing E is "I hate you!" This has, unfortunately, been the most recent of ways he has been verbally lashing out. I reprimanded him for that, telling him it is rude and mean to tell someone you hate them and that's not how we talk to someone. Then, since E wasn't first, when A pointed out to him that A was first (which E does to A every morning), E started saying something under his breath. One of those schoolyard rhymes. I heard "first is the worst" and I let him get no farther. I have had it with him. (And honestly, Am isn't much better. And she uses the fact that she's a girl to boot because A and C sometimes argue over her.) I flat out told him, "E, that is enough. You need to change how you behave towards my son starting right now, or I will go have a talk with your mother." Shortly following that, Am started a conversation with, "A, my friend is coming on the bus tomorrow, and I'm sitting with my friend, and not with you." Are you freaking kidding me?!


This brother and sister are what I'm afraid my boys will turn into if The Instigator keeps teaching them by example and laughing when they sit there and do the "I'm not touching you" thing verbally. I cannot stand that, nor can A. And E and Am's behaviors towards him (and his retaliating in the same manner) are the complete opposite of everything the school staff and I are putting into A. He's had a rough time of it, emotionally, and he's not where he's "supposed" to be when it comes to social skills. It's making school harder for him, and the school staff that works with him (which includes his classroom teacher, a school counselor and an occupational therapist), not to mention me, when they set him back and keep him from moving forward. If I see it happen again, I will march to their house and have words with their mother, because this is absolutely ridiculous. 


Thankfully, nothing else seems to have come from A's bus meltdown. (You're allowed 3 warnings for misbehavior before you're prohibited from riding the bus.) However, that remains to be seen. Last year he got a warning, and I didn't hear anything of it from anyone until THREE WEEKS after the event when I got a notice via e-mail from the bus office (to which I replied vehemently that it was ridiculous for them to go that long before notifying me...and they said nothing in reply to that). If that happens again, not only will they hear from me, but I will show up at the bus office in person and chew them out both for the delay and to demand that E get a warning as well, as his willful behavior is what set A off in the first place. 


In the meantime, though, it's time to carry on as usual...

FIRST CONCERT!!!!!!!

You know the mom that goes to every school function possible, ever with the cameras at the ready? (Yes, plural...cameraS...one for taking photos and one for taking video!) Yeah, I'm totally that mom. :)

Superman had his first concert!!!!! He's only six, so there are no instruments involved yet, but I was beyond thrilled when I found out that he was going to be singing in his first school performance! And I even went as far as to blow dry my hair and wear makeup. That means it was definitely a big deal! lol

The front of the concert program

Having been a band and choir geek myself while growing up, it made it all the sweeter that I was finally going to be able to be the parent in the audience. Even just walking into the multipurpose room and seeing the good old risers on the stage threw me back to the days I was in first grade and singing my heart out in front of anyone that would listen. Going into this, I knew that he was at least going to be singing "Grand Old Flag," because he's been singing it around the house nearly non-stop for about the past month! And that even gave me another memory to smile about, as the elementary school I went to used that tune (albeit with different words) for their school song.

I was pretty happy that we got there as early as we did, since the seats filled up very quickly, and there were parents and families packed in there as standing room only! The principal said that in all his years of working as a school administrator (which I think he said was something like 15 years), he had never seen that many parents turn out. Honestly, I find that to be a sad thing. But I digress.

As it turns out...I likely would have been better off with standing. It turns out I'm not the only parent that gets excited, camera in hand. The only difference is, I'm not rude and thoughtless enough to stand in front of other people's kids to get my own on video! That's right. There was a lady that didn't care in the slightest that she was crowding the stage area (not all the kids fit on the stage, so there were some on risers on the floor in front of the stage...which just so happened to be where my first grader was), or even seem to notice that she was standing directly in front of a bunch of little kids, reaching across to video her own child that was on the other side of the stage. And I am not exaggerating in the slightest.

What we could (& couldn't) see of Superman (in the red) from our seat

So I got up out of my seat, did the "duck out of the way of the other parents' photos" dance all the way up the side of the room, and got close enough to get some shots of him.

Standing up front next to him

Unfortunately, my standing right next to him was distracting him, and he wasn't very focused once he knew I was there with the camera pointed straight at him (he even fell off the riser he was standing on at one point!), so I took only a few and went back to my seat.

All the 1st-4th graders that were performing

So to all the parents out there going to these school functions...please be more polite than that lady in the blue was! Be aware that you are NOT the only parent there to see their child and be aware of your surroundings and that you may be blocking the view of someone else that is there to see their child. Heck, that's a problem my kids have. It's not something that should be that difficult for an adult. Okay, I'm done ranting. lol

All in all, though, I am very glad that we went (I told The Instigator he had to tag along...LOL), and I would not have missed it for the world! I just hope that they are more prepared for a larger audience next time. Otherwise, I will be standing!

A new month!

Yes, I know that I'm overdue to produce the final installment of my trip to France...I'll get to it, I promise!

It's a new month! May has come upon us, and I am super excited for what I have planned to do! :D (And I'm super excited to blog about those plans, too, after the fact...which means I'd better hurry on that France finale!) I've been getting back to my knitting (which I've been somewhat neglecting as of late), and last night while watching Castle, worked on the "Where's Anja's Cow?" baby romper. :) I'm also still plugging away at a soaker/skirty combo that I'm making for someone (and I bought the license with the pattern, so I'm thinking soakers will soon be appearing in my etsy shop!), and I still have the last hat to make before the next big trip!

A has turned six. I don't know when this happened...(well, obviously on his birthday, lol) I turned around and ::POOF::! He's past the preschooler/kindergartener age! Ack! Next fall he starts first grade, and C will start kindergarten himself (after C turns 5 in August)! I will have the house to MYSELF! ALL DAY! While they're both at school! I am looking forward to it greatly! Nobody to cater to all day long, no child going right behind me and making a mess of what I just cleaned, no interruptions of "I'm hungry!" or "Fill my water bottle, please!" or any various pleas and/or tantrums.

It's going to be AMAZING!

The Instigator has not slacked at all in the role for which he assumed that title. lol But I really can't complain. For all the picking on me that he does, he's also very supportive of my "traveling habit" and is okay with me traipsing off with my girl friends and leaving him at home (though I'm sure he's more than ready for me to take at least one of the boys with me! LOL). He was supposed to have taken a trip to Spain, himself, for a martial arts tournament, but as we left the boys at Misha's house so I could take him to the airport, it turned out we went to the wrong airport, and he missed his flight! LOL But we got the drive time to and from the airport (two hours, round trip) to just enjoy each others company without the kids in the back seat, and just chat and relax. :)

And today we're getting a new couch delivered! The Instigator ordered it a couple months back (along with a recliner for him, which he's SUPER happy about), and it's finally showing up today! :D Hooray! Id' better get to cleaning up the living room area a bit!

Parenting by Design Daily Devotional: Empathy

I know...it's been some time since I've blogged...there's a lot that's gone on here lately, and I promise I'll catch up! I just had to post this, first..

The Instigator (the wonderful man that he is!) recently got me and iPhone! I've been having a lot of fun with apps and everything else that goes with it. This is the first phone I've had that even has a camera, let alone all the other bells and whistles that go with it. Up until now, I've only had cheesy flip phones. Granted, it's because I previously didn't care if I had the high-tech phones.

One of the apps I downloaded is for Bible reading, and it has the option of doing devotionals. Sadly, I've already fallen behind in them, and I only started them on the 30th! But as I was playing catch up, this one really stuck out at me. (The following is as written in the devotional, which is available for free through the "Parenting by Design Daily Devotional" on the "Bible" iPhone app.)

"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of the body, the church."
~ Ephesians 4:15


EMPATHY


"Our love grows soft if it is not strengthened by truth, and our truth grows hard if not softened by love." 
--John Stott


The essence of empathy is balancing truth and love. A rescuing parent leans heavily on love, but shies away from truth. A dictating parent leans heavily on truth, but mixes in little love. A counselor parent is able to express his love for the child no matter what they say or do, yet is strong enough to deliver appropriate consequences and to allow his child to struggle so that real learning takes place. It is a difficult balance, and out anxiety or anger often reveals where we fall on the continuum between rescuer and dictator. Is your love too soft, or your truth too hard?

Striking a balance between truth and love models out heavenly Father's relationship with us.


The part that really screamed at me was where the balance comes into play. I'm not typically one that's good at balance. I'm a very black and white person...shades of gray irritate me to no end. And it shows in pretty much every area of my life. If I'm not constantly cleaning and keeping house, I don't often get time to do what I want to do. If I forgo the cleaning and laundry in favor of knitting and computer time, the house tends to get into a state that compels The Instigator to take up the slack (...and immediately on the heels of that is overpowering guilt that consumes me, and I overcompensate and do nothing for myself to keep up on cleaning...then I get frustrated because I'm not relaxing...so I take time for me, and...do you see the viscous cycle, here?). I know, in my head (as well as from the experience of others) that all I have to do is manage my time better. Spend 30 minutes a day cleaning a room, a different room every day, to keep up with it all. But for whatever reason, that's not the way I function. I'm all or nothing. Black or white. Up or down. Joyous or furious. I can try to do the allotting of small bits of time to clean each day, but it never sticks for more than a week. So to say that this devotional hit me hard is a bit of an understatement.

In truth...I'm back and forth on the spectrum between the rescuing and dictating parent. And it's more sudden than one might expect. (I let things irritated me far more than I should...) If it's a balance that's hard enough for other people that can balance well, how much more difficult is it going to be for me?! I can absolutely see in my mind's eye examples of both extremes in my recent past. I guess all I can do is try...

I have also noticed that I'm better at  balancing things and being (at least closer to achieving the status of) a counselor parent when I'm actively immersing myself into the Bible and going to church (which is, I'm ashamed to admit, something that I've neglected since I lived in Oklahoma). So I'm taking it a little at a time...getting back into reading the Bible, doing daily devotionals, surrounding myself with positive people. I'm hoping it doesn't take me long to get closer to the middle of that parenting spectrum!

The Diaper Monster is back....

I was so sure that I had licked The Diaper Monster. I was positive that the almost 48-straight hours of baby treatment had defeated it.

Apparently not.

I was sitting here, feeling great. Sore, yes, because I did Pilates yesterday for the first time in about a year. But A went off to school with a good attitude and he seemed intent on behaving well today. (Which is really good news for me, as he's been in trouble every day this week.) I got some new music on iTunes that I've been blaring. I started to clean up for this weekend's visit from Misha and her boys, Luc and D. And I am always happier when I have a cleaner house. So on my way downstairs to the laundry room, I peeked into the toy room at C, playing his video game. It was so cute. I smiled.

And then I smelled.

I seriously wanted to hit the roof. HOW has the baby treatment, that he has so much hated, not kept him from doing this yet again?!?!?!?!?! I thought this week was over, and it's been one hell of a week. But no. The Diaper Monster had to rear it's ugly head again.

Not. Happy.

Potential

Today is officially Day 2 (or rather, the first full day of) SuperMommy vs. The Diaper Monster. Yesterday was not easy. I had to stick to every little thing that I said and that I (non-verbally) promised to myself. I got to talk to my mom on the phone yesterday (being stationed overseas has greatly increased my gratefulness for modern technology!!!), and she put into words what the situation with C was. It's not the ability to or to not use the toilet. He has proven with staying at Misha's house that he has the capacity to realize when he needs to go and how to take care of it. So the issue is behavioral. He is choosing to behave this way. Why he is choosing it, I can't figure out for the life of me. But my approach seems to be working, at least a little. I told him that if he wants to be a baby, he can be a baby. And he's learning that that does not mean getting his way all the time and being waited on hand and foot. Babies don't get to watch TV. Babies don't get to play video games. Babies don't get to go into a room full of small toys and play all day. Babies don't get soda at lunch or dinner time. Babies drink milk. Babies ride in strollers (and are not allowed out to run around at the bus stop!). Babies take naps. In short, babies sit around and do a whole lot of nothing. I know that's not entirely accurate, really, but I'm trying hard to make an impression on him, and so far, it seems to be working. He's getting bored of having no toys (though his imagination seems to be kicking in and keeping him occupied at present) and being confined to the couch (except for being able to prove to me that he knows how and when to use the potty) and not having the choices, freedoms and independence that he's used to. This "experiment" (for lack of a better word) is taking it's toll on me. I do not miss how dependent babies are on adults. (And this is not helping to convince me I want another one! Sorry, everyone!) Add to that stress the facts that a) I'm in the middle of an emotionally tumultuous time with A having problems at school and b) that my sleep last night was fitful and slathered in bad dreams...and you have one tired, emotionally battered, and pretty cranky mommy. It would be so easy right now to just give up and cave in. Let him free from the confines of the couch and play. To lay down and rest while he watches a movie. Something. Anything. An emotional respite. But I can't. I promised myself that I wouldn't, and on top of that, if I show any signs of relenting, he would jump at that opportunity and take full advantage of it. He will target that weak spot and make me regret not having the strength to wait out his "silent strong will."

As I was sitting here thinking about all this, I groaned to myself and said, "this day has the potential to be a reeeeeeeally long and hard day...." But then I stopped. I am an optimist, doggone it! That's no way to attack the situation! Think negatively, and I will definitely not have an easy time of it. More than half this battle is in the mind. I may be caught up in a maelstrom of emotions and situations right now, but I am instead deciding that today has the potential to be PRODUCTIVE!!!! A is at school all day. C is confined to the couch until further notice. This leaves the hazardous area formerly know as their toy room wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open. I am going to go in there and weed out toys. They will be disappearing from my house. (Even though I just did this at least 3 or 4 times in the last year, probably more...) The toys that remain? Well, half of them will no longer be available in their toy room. I'm using that room as the place to vent my frustrations. Their room will be purged and cleaned. (Oo, now I'm feeling excited about this....) Okay, I'm off to wage the battle between SuperMommy and The Toy Room!

The Adventures of SuperMommy: SuperMommy vs. The Diaper Monster

I am pissed. As in livid. I sent my son to a friend's house to be potty trained, because he wouldn't do it for me. I tried every trick in the book. And when I say "every trick," I am not exaggerating. I. Tried. Everything. Nothing worked. Leave him undressed? I'd find pee puddles and crap piles on the floor. Reward using the potty? He didn't care about the reward. It didn't matter how big or small it was, he wasn't motivated to use the toilet. Let him sit in wet/messy underwear? He would sit in it for hours and I had no clue he needed cleaned up until my olfactory senses picked it up from across the room (or the house, depending on which room he was playing in). Call him a baby? Didn't matter. He likes being mommy's baby. He. Doesn't. Care. I could find NOTHING to motivate him. At all. I even punished him a couple of times, against my instincts (as it's drilled into a young mother's head to NOT go about potty training by punishment), regardless of the fact that C is 4 and a half and was still in pull-ups. I have not found anything that motivates him to potty train.

My friend Misha, the potty training goddess, took C to get him to potty train. His time there was cut short due to a family emergency that Misha had, but still, in the time that he was there, he had not one. Single. Accident. He went in the toilet every time. It seems that her calling him a baby (a pretty girl that wasn't mommy that he wanted to impress) made quite the impact. He was doing fine. He came home and tried to fight using the potty again for a little bit, but I put my foot down and made him go. We were good. Then a day or so after he got back, he pooped in his underwear. I won't go into massive detail about it, as I don't want to disgust anyone, but suffice it to say, it wasn't as solid as it could have been, so I chalked it up to not making it to the toilet on time and just tossed the pair and let it slide. He was doing fine after that. He even just went poop on the toilet less than two hours ago! And then....he started walking funny. I checked his butt. Sure enough, he pooped himself again. I had to leave the room for a minute, I was so angry. I had to cut the underwear off of him to avoid a colossal mess that would have ended with him in the bathtub.

 So that's it. The gauntlet has been thrown. And I am one angry Mommy! I'm talking furious! Luckily, I learned at a very young age how to channel anger into motivation. I am taking Misha's "baby" approach. But it is not going to have any sort of positive connotation from me again, if I can help it. Being as C is 4 and a half, we haven't had need of baby food in the house in a looooooooooong time, nor do I have a food processor/blender to make baby food, but The Instigator is either going to pick some up on his way home, or I'll be going out once he's home to get some. His lunch (only because it's too late to walk to base to pick up baby food and be home in time to pick up A from the bus stop) consisted of a piece of bread, a piece of bologna and some cheese, and I spoon-fed him applesauce. This boy treasures his independence, and it has now been revoked. No soda for dinner, no candy at all. No video games on his Leapster Explorer, no movies, no trains, no cars, nothing. Naps are now required again. When he's awake, he can sit on his hands for all I care. He will not be playing. Until he can prove to me that he is "big boy" enough to use the toilet and not go in his underwear, this is the new regime in the house. Hopefully he will be irritated at seeing A getting all the regular stuff that he's missing out on himself and that will help motivate him. And when we get that baby food, you can bet it's going to be the most disgusting I can find.

I have been wiping butts since A was born, nearly 6 years ago, first A, then C, and I'm sick of it. Beyond sick of it. I have been for some time. But he sealed his own fate when he used the toilet regularly for someone else. I am declaring war on The Diaper Monster (not on C....just his iron will to have his way) and I will win, one way or another.

Determination

Dora the Explorer: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: I want to be a teacher when I grow up!
C: I want to be a mad scientist when I grow up!

Both of my boys made those proclamations with the same level of enthusiasm and excitement, jumping up and down as they did, unable to contain themselves at the thought of being whatever they put their minds to.

Really? A mad scientist?....Hmmm. Well, C is just far too cute, so I think we'll have to get him a wild wig and work on that cackle before he achieves that dream...

My boys cannot (accurately!) be described as having no imaginations. From sun up to sun down (and often times outside of those boundaries, too!), they are constantly fighting off bad guys with Kame-Hame-Ha waves and "mastery" of martial arts, not to mention the "superpowers" that seem to manifest themselves at will. Raising two boys is nothing short of an adventure in and of itself. In fact, just this morning, while A was awake (and waiting for Mommy's alarm to go off to wake up to get him off to school), I laid in bed and kept hearing a "run, run, run, THUMP" noise.

Me: "What are you doing?"

A: (exasperated at my lack of observance skills) "I'm trying to fly, Mama!"

Oh, what a world he lives in...he knows he can do whatever he sets his will to, and he often reminds me of that! ("I can do anything, Mama!") What a sad day it will be for me, though, when he realizes that he can't just take off into flight like a bird on a whim...

Thank Heaven for Little Boys...

As I have previously mentioned, a lot of my friends (and friends of friends) have been having a lot of babies lately. Between that (and the fact that the boys have been a lot more fun now that they're 4 and 5 years old), the husband has really been heavily "hinting" at wanting to try for having a little girl. I'm not yet sure how I feel about that. I like being the only female in my house. lol We'll see, though...

Lately, the boys have been having those priceless moments...the ones you wish you could record the second they do something humorous so you can watch and re-watch it, giggling and laughing uncontrollably. Today, for instance, when C and I went to the bus stop to wait for A, C was so intrigued by every little thing around him; the flowers, the sunshine, the leaves on the ground...and today he started finding lizards! (Ah, little boy-dom!) He was trying to follow it and keep up with the little bugger (which is not an easy feat, considering how fast those little guys are!), and I was just enjoying watching him run back and forth on one side of the fence while he watched the lizard on the other side, trying to evade the imminent danger of the pre-schooler that would not leave him be. Then, for whatever reason, the lizard darted straight at C for a moment, which totally took the poor boy off guard, causing him to jump sideways and shriek! It was hilarious! I wish I had taken the camera to the bus stop! I don't even know how he managed to land on his feet, since 95% of the time he shows to have gotten my coordination. But land on his feet (and not his bum!), he did!

A, since having started school, has slowly been transforming and growing in new areas that astound me. he is very quickly grasping the concept of time, in the sense of days of the week and months of the year and where the holidays fall. Right now (given the time of the year, obviously), A is all about Halloween. I ordered their costumes off of the Internet the other day...they both want to be pirate captains! So any time they hear "Halloween" and /or "pirate," they begin this elaborate role play of being pirates! A gets very excited (and carried away!) , and while being a pirate captain, knocked over a puzzle box, spilling 100 pieces all over the floor. I asked him to please pick them up, and without missing a beat, he grabs the box, gets down on the floor, and says "Arrrrrrrr!!!! Me treasure!!!!", frantically scooping the pieces back into the "treasure chest."

I am thankful for my boys and the joy that they bring me, regardless of (and perhaps it is brought out more because of) the long, hard road I've traveled to get to where we are with them. I look forward to all the precious moments ahead....



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Now playing: Rihanna - Only Girl (In the World)
via FoxyTunes

Happy, happy, happy day!!!

Lately A has taken to expressing his likes with saying, "I love (enter object/activity)!" It's so cute! Last night it was all about dancing. "I love dancing! I love to dance!" Well, he just said one that gave me warm fuzzies! "I love books!" Yay! That's my boy!!!

I've still been making lots of hats, but seem to be losing my steam! (Maybe if I keep yarn in my hands at all times, A will next say that he loves yarn...heeheehee!) I finished 3 more hats and started a fourth, but just have a hard time keeping at it. I'm not sure why. I almost wondered a little bit if it was because I messed it up. I changed needle size on the Claudia hat sooner than I was supposed to, and didn't feel like frogging back to where I messed up, so I just kept going. I have a hard time continuing with a project I know isn't my best work, but I really don't feel like undoing it all! That's so much knitting! It doesn't look bad. In fact, if you didn't know I made that mistake, you probably wouldn't even notice that the trellis work is going to poof out a little bit. I even started a 5th hat (crochet...the 4th is knit) to see if maybe it was the speed of the craft that made me less inclined to pick it back up, but I'm not feeling pushed to finish that one, either. I will keep at it, though. I've got people waiting on these hats! As it is, the last set that was supposed to be mailed out a week ago may have finally just been sent out today. We had to wait for payday. I can't believe that I've made so many, though! I'm sending them out in groups, so I've not really seen it as getting so many done, but the first set I sent out was 7 hats and the second set was 9, and I've finished 3 hats of the 3rd set....that's 19 hats!!! And a in pretty short amount of time, too!

In other news...Ravenclaw did not catch the snitch last night. It's very sad. I want to congratulate the 'Puffs for getting it (especially since they prevented Slytherin from getting it, lol), but I'm not done moping yet. We were so close to getting it!!! ::sigh::

But on a (much) happier note....I'M GOING TO SALZBURG!!!!!!!!!! It's not until this weekend, but I am soooooooooo excited! Kristin and I are going to the Christmas Market there and hopefully do some sightseeing, like Mozart's birthplace. If we had enough time (which I was told we likely wouldn't, unfortunately), we could even go see where parts of The Sound of Music was filmed. That would be beyond awesome! I grew up watching that musical! And after that trip, I've got Thanksgiving plans to really put into play! We're having Kristin and Collin, the Fishers, Karl and Natasha, and Dan all over for dinner! That's 7 adults and 4 kids (that eat table foods...Collin and Riley don't yet...)! And I've got to have a clean house and everything lined up to clarify who's bringing what! It's going to be FUN! So I certainly have enough to keep me busy! Now I'm off to make myself finish that "Claudia" hat...

Friendship Blankets Update...

So I thought it was only making one square for each other person in the group......no, we don't have enough people. So we're supposed to make five squares for each other person! That's like a total of something like 95 squares! Yikes! I've finished 20 so far. I wasn't expecting to make that many. My first thought when I heard how many I needed to make was "Shoot! Forget that! I'll just make my own squares and my own blanket!" (And it was funny, because when I told my husband's grandmother about the change in the situation, she said basically the same thing! LOL) But that's really the point of sending them to each other. So that everyone ends up with a decent-sized blanket, but with different squares from all kinds of people from all over...shoot, the world, actually. I was going to say "the country," but I know there are moms on Cafemom from more than just the US. It'll be so interesting to see all the different squares with all the different textures of yarn and everything else.

Hopefully there won't be too much taking my time away from working on all these squares....

There's a lot that goes into being a parent of two toddler boys. Especially when their father is overseas with the military. My younger son is fast approaching the age my older son was the first time he had an ER-worthy injury. (Aidyn was running in our then-apartment that had very tight corners, and ran head on, at full speed, into the corner of a wall and ended up needing 10 stitches in his forehead....before he even turned 18 months old!) Just the other day, in fact, Calen took off running from the kitchen to the living room, from linoleum to carpeting, and the carpet is higher than the linoleum. So in his hurry to run, his foot got caught on the carpeting, and he fell, face first, into a china cabinet. His mouth hit the leg of the (for him) immovable cabinet. (It really is movable, but certainly not for someone his size! LOL) He cut his lip and even his gums were bleeding! Poor little guy. But no swelling, and with the injuries I've seen from Aidyn, I knew better than to be too alarmed. There was a fair amount of blood, but not enough to freak out over. So now I'm just wondering how long it will be before we have our first ER trip with Calen. He's only a month younger than Aidyn was for his first trip....I guess only time will tell....