Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bus Stop Nuisance

If you follow me on Twitter or are my friend on Facebook, chances are that you're aware of the kid at the bus stop (we'll call him "E") that pesters A. Especially after yesterday when he pushed A's buttons to the point of my older son having a mini-meltdown on the bus.

E that eggs A on every morning. Yesterday, after much verbal poking and prodding, E deliberately took the seat that he knew A wanted on the bus and refused to compromise at all, and had a smug look on his face that I could see from standing at the door of the bus while doing it. It escalated to the point of A having a mini-meltdown on the bus. Unfortunately (in this situation, anyhow) for security measures, adults aside from the bus driver and bus monitor are not allowed to board the bus. As I was by the door, all I could see was E being a jerk and the bus monitor getting up and talking to A. She said nothing  to E. Just A. I have no idea what she said, as A took the furthest seat from E that he was allowed, and the windows were fogged up pretty badly (a bus full of warm bodies on a cold morning and all...). Seriously, if E's dad were to get orders to leave this base yesterday, it couldn't be soon enough. (I was actually hoping after last school year that they would be leaving last summer...obviously, no such luck.)

So today, we got to the bus stop before E and his little sister ("Am"). Used to be that the boys and I were first every morning (we, as well as our neighbors across the street, have the furthest to walk to get to the bus stop, so I leave a good amount of time to get there, leaving time for the possibility of ice on the hill), but E and Am started to leave earlier and if they ever see us coming, they run to beat A and C to the bus stop. (Another sore point for my boys because they like to be first all the time, and I don't let them run. It's too dark, they don't watch where they're going, there's only a sidewalk for about half of our walk down there, and the cars go flying by at ridiculous speeds with most not even noticing pedestrians until they've nearly hit us.) So today, when E and Am got there, the firs thing A says to seeing E is "I hate you!" This has, unfortunately, been the most recent of ways he has been verbally lashing out. I reprimanded him for that, telling him it is rude and mean to tell someone you hate them and that's not how we talk to someone. Then, since E wasn't first, when A pointed out to him that A was first (which E does to A every morning), E started saying something under his breath. One of those schoolyard rhymes. I heard "first is the worst" and I let him get no farther. I have had it with him. (And honestly, Am isn't much better. And she uses the fact that she's a girl to boot because A and C sometimes argue over her.) I flat out told him, "E, that is enough. You need to change how you behave towards my son starting right now, or I will go have a talk with your mother." Shortly following that, Am started a conversation with, "A, my friend is coming on the bus tomorrow, and I'm sitting with my friend, and not with you." Are you freaking kidding me?!

This brother and sister are what I'm afraid my boys will turn into if The Instigator keeps teaching them by example and laughing when they sit there and do the "I'm not touching you" thing verbally. I cannot stand that, nor can A. And E and Am's behaviors towards him (and his retaliating in the same manner) are the complete opposite of everything the school staff and I are putting into A. He's had a rough time of it, emotionally, and he's not where he's "supposed" to be when it comes to social skills. It's making school harder for him, and the school staff that works with him (which includes his classroom teacher, a school counselor and an occupational therapist), not to mention me, when they set him back and keep him from moving forward. If I see it happen again, I will march to their house and have words with their mother, because this is absolutely ridiculous. 

Thankfully, nothing else seems to have come from A's bus meltdown. (You're allowed 3 warnings for misbehavior before you're prohibited from riding the bus.) However, that remains to be seen. Last year he got a warning, and I didn't hear anything of it from anyone until THREE WEEKS after the event when I got a notice via e-mail from the bus office (to which I replied vehemently that it was ridiculous for them to go that long before notifying me...and they said nothing in reply to that). If that happens again, not only will they hear from me, but I will show up at the bus office in person and chew them out both for the delay and to demand that E get a warning as well, as his willful behavior is what set A off in the first place. 

In the meantime, though, it's time to carry on as usual...


Michelle said...

Ugh, I'm so sorry. Little toerag bullies like that need to be taught that their behavior is damaging. If they don't care, then their parents need to have a talking-to indeed. Hugs to you and your children!

Karen Fox said...

Problem is most times when the kids are that bad, the parents are the type that don't care.

Donnetta Johnson said...

Well, I know that E knows it's wrong to behave that way, because he doesn't act that way when his mom is around. But even if I have to talk to her, and she DOESN'T care, then I will complain to the school, loudly and repeatedly, until something is done about it. Like taking away E's bus privileges. (And I know for a fact that A is NOT the only one that has problems with E.)