Potential

Today is officially Day 2 (or rather, the first full day of) SuperMommy vs. The Diaper Monster. Yesterday was not easy. I had to stick to every little thing that I said and that I (non-verbally) promised to myself. I got to talk to my mom on the phone yesterday (being stationed overseas has greatly increased my gratefulness for modern technology!!!), and she put into words what the situation with C was. It's not the ability to or to not use the toilet. He has proven with staying at Misha's house that he has the capacity to realize when he needs to go and how to take care of it. So the issue is behavioral. He is choosing to behave this way. Why he is choosing it, I can't figure out for the life of me. But my approach seems to be working, at least a little. I told him that if he wants to be a baby, he can be a baby. And he's learning that that does not mean getting his way all the time and being waited on hand and foot. Babies don't get to watch TV. Babies don't get to play video games. Babies don't get to go into a room full of small toys and play all day. Babies don't get soda at lunch or dinner time. Babies drink milk. Babies ride in strollers (and are not allowed out to run around at the bus stop!). Babies take naps. In short, babies sit around and do a whole lot of nothing. I know that's not entirely accurate, really, but I'm trying hard to make an impression on him, and so far, it seems to be working. He's getting bored of having no toys (though his imagination seems to be kicking in and keeping him occupied at present) and being confined to the couch (except for being able to prove to me that he knows how and when to use the potty) and not having the choices, freedoms and independence that he's used to. This "experiment" (for lack of a better word) is taking it's toll on me. I do not miss how dependent babies are on adults. (And this is not helping to convince me I want another one! Sorry, everyone!) Add to that stress the facts that a) I'm in the middle of an emotionally tumultuous time with A having problems at school and b) that my sleep last night was fitful and slathered in bad dreams...and you have one tired, emotionally battered, and pretty cranky mommy. It would be so easy right now to just give up and cave in. Let him free from the confines of the couch and play. To lay down and rest while he watches a movie. Something. Anything. An emotional respite. But I can't. I promised myself that I wouldn't, and on top of that, if I show any signs of relenting, he would jump at that opportunity and take full advantage of it. He will target that weak spot and make me regret not having the strength to wait out his "silent strong will."

As I was sitting here thinking about all this, I groaned to myself and said, "this day has the potential to be a reeeeeeeally long and hard day...." But then I stopped. I am an optimist, doggone it! That's no way to attack the situation! Think negatively, and I will definitely not have an easy time of it. More than half this battle is in the mind. I may be caught up in a maelstrom of emotions and situations right now, but I am instead deciding that today has the potential to be PRODUCTIVE!!!! A is at school all day. C is confined to the couch until further notice. This leaves the hazardous area formerly know as their toy room wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide open. I am going to go in there and weed out toys. They will be disappearing from my house. (Even though I just did this at least 3 or 4 times in the last year, probably more...) The toys that remain? Well, half of them will no longer be available in their toy room. I'm using that room as the place to vent my frustrations. Their room will be purged and cleaned. (Oo, now I'm feeling excited about this....) Okay, I'm off to wage the battle between SuperMommy and The Toy Room!