I don't often buy things for myself.
I think it's a combination of factors...the fact that I've pretty much never really had the extra to just spend for no reason...the fact that I have guilt over spending money on me that could go to so many better causes (there are children in this world starving, for crying out loud!)...the fact that I tend to have a low self-value...the fact that growing up, we bought what was needed over what was wanted...it all adds up.
(The exception to this, of course, is yarn-related items I buy, but 99 times out of 100, I turn around and gift what I made to someone or donate it to charity, and soon hope to be selling online.)
So when Misha suggested we go shopping to prepare for London, I didn't think much of it. Shopping, for me, is browsing racks and racks until something catches my eye. I try it on. If it doesn't fit, it gets put back. If it does, I get it. Simple as that. I'll walk away with one or two new items. Shopping with Misha, though, is an entiiiiirely different ball park. I think it would be fair to say that she could easily hold her own if there were Shopping Olympics. lol I tried on more clothes than I ever have in one trip to a store in my life, and walked away with not one, not two, not even three or four, but five new tops. And that was just the first trip. The second trip involved shoes (I got two pairs...two!!!) and pants (only one pair of pants...I don't think my heart could have stood up to more than that...
I've dealt with Buyer's Guilt for yeeeeeeeears. I buy it, feel guilty for spending that much money on myself, and end up returning it. This happens a lot for me. I thought for sure that The Instigator would freak out over how much I spent in the course of one day. I was on the verge of a meltdown myself! But it seemed to not phase him. (Or if it did, he hid it very well!) And according to Misha, this isn't the last shopping trip in my time here. (::GULP!::) I seriously doubt that I'll be spending even half as much as I did that day, though...I just can't do it. The guilt is crushing.
And now that I've thought about this again (I started to blog about it 2 and a half weeks ago, when the guilt initially struck, after all...), I think I need to go yarn-craft some things for charity...If anyone has tips to avoid Buyer's Guilt, PLEASE, let me in on the secret!
2 comments:
as your brother i think i have a little bit of a sense of how we grew up and i end up with buyers remorse quite often as well. though i tend to spend money on things that aren't as necessary as clothes. i mean would i rather have a new shirt or the split that just came out with at least one side from one of my favorite bands. i would usually go with the record. but then i come to realize that if we can't occasionally have some things that we want rather than just what we need then we're only here on this planet to be as miserable as possible.
For me, though, I CAN be happy without getting things that I want. (Unless you count the yarn into that....lol) Material things aren't as important to me as people and the relationships I have with them. Besides, being happy is more of a choice than circumstance.
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