Tuesday, May 24, 2011

My Weight War

I was always the small one in my family, growing up. Petite. Slim. Slender. Even once I hit puberty and started filling out, the weight I gained around my midsection was minimal, and I learned to suck it in, and nobody even noticed. In high school, I was never above a size 5/6 (which is likely different from the sizes of 5 and 6 that are floating around today, but as I don't have an inch measurement, the size will have to do, lol).

Once I went away to Fort Collins for my second semester of my first year of college, I definitely gained the Freshman Fifteen (if not more!), but I had my amazing BFF as my roommate, and we started a routine of going to the gym every night (after watching Lizzie McGuire on the Disney Channel), and it suddenly wasn't a problem anymore.

Once I went back to Colorado Springs and started to work at Gunther Toody's as a waitress, I was on my feet and moving pretty much constantly. The calories a server burns has got to be a crazy-high number. After I had met and started dating The Instigator, I had had some problems and was sent home for my debilitating migraines. It had turned out that I was dehydrated. As in, needed-an-IV dehydrated. (It was bad!) So at that point, I didn't even have the water weight I should have.

Then I got pregnant.

I actually didn't gain a lot of weight with A (thanks a lot, morning sickness that was really all-day sickness...) to the point of my OB/GYN actually being a bit concerned about my low weight. I think I gained 60 pounds over the course of that pregnancy. And after I had him, I was pretty determined to lose the excess weight. It took a long time to see the results I wanted. And finally, finally, after I had broken through the plateau of weight (where the number on the scale doesn't budge because of muscle weighing more than fat and the building muscle as the fat dissipates)...and I was pregnant with C. I started that pregnancy off 25 pounds heavier than I did the first one. I was not happy about that.

The Instigator left for a remote in Korea 7 weeks after C came along. I moved back in with my BFF in Fort Collins, and with her nifty little regimen, my weight dropped down to 30 pounds less than my end pregnancy weight! I was delighted! But then I moved to Oklahoma to be nearer to the in-laws (as we knew our follow on assignment was to be overseas), and it all went out the window.

Since then, it has been a constant struggle for me to get to where I'm happy with my body.

I'd set my goal of losing the weight when The Instigator deployed, but it never seemed to happen. Then moving from Italy to Germany brought me to an all-time low. (Or high, if you go according to the scale!) Moving is stressful, and there's a lot of unhealthy eating because it's quicker and easier. I crossed the line on the BMI chart into obese.

I cried. I had never weighed that much before without being pregnant.

Thankfully, I have some amazing people in my life that are on my side and cheering me on. They "make" me go to the gym, even when I don't feel like it. They encourage me when I feel I'm not making any headway towards my goal. They make me buy new clothes that show off the weight loss. (I'm looking at you, Misha! LOL)

Last night, after going to the gym, I weighed myself. I had lost roughly 3 pounds while walking all over London, and saw that I've lost about another pound and a half since getting back!!! I'm still in the "overweight" category, but not by much! I am thisclose to crossing over that line into "normal/healthy." So. Close. And I know that the day I do, I will cry happy tears.

So to those that have put up with my whining and kicked my butt into gear to get something done about it, thank you. Every comment on my check-ins or statues about working out have helped. And most especially, THANK YOU to Misha and The Instigator for being my support team in the flesh. :) I couldn't have gotten this far without you!

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